Last week, as we sat in the cardiologist’s office, we watched her draw out the anatomy of our baby girl’s heart. This is now the fifth time a doctor has drawn it for me. She was making sure – as doctors do – that we understood exactly what was going on. I know that I’m not done putting in my time sitting in uncomfortable plastic chairs, nodding and listening as different doctors sketch the ins and outs of her heart, of the surgery, of the recovery, of the bypass machine, and on and on. If you’ve ever dealt with health problems – either personally or have been through it with someone else – you know what I’m talking about.
God doesn’t do that. He doesn’t sit us down and calmly draw out his plan, making sure we understand the terms, the detours, the risks, the complications, and the prognosis. None of this happens. Ever. And at times that is frustrating. He “knows the plans he has for us” (Jeremiah 29:11), but he doesn’t sit us down and tell us those plans in detail, all at once. He chooses instead to walk along with us on the journey. He knows where we are going, but we do not, and he asks us to trust him. He tells us of his goodness through promises in his word, through others who know him, too, and, in the hardest moments, through soft reassurances you feel in your heart as you sit in your car and cry.
The beginning of journeys like this begin with the unexpected: a diagnosis, a loss, a relationship cracking, a child leaving. And then we have a choice. Do we scramble, looking for anyone or anything to give us reassurances about exactly what we’re in for, to give us some kind of a guarantee? Do we try desperately to fix the very thing that is breaking? Or, do we choose to turn to God and ask, “what are your promises for me?”
So, I’ve been asking that very thing lately: what does he promise? What are truths about him I need to purposefully store in my heart?
- He promises that he will sustain us through it all: “He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.” -Isaiah 40:29
- He works all things for our good: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good…” -Romans 8:28
- He is always good, no matter our circumstances: “Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.” -James 1:17
- He is able to do much more than we can even imagine: “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory…” -Ephesians 3:20-21
- When we go to him in prayer, he will give us peace: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:6-7
- He promises that he will never leave us; in fact, he is one step ahead, fighting our battles: “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” -Deuteronomy 31:6
But sometimes as we sit in those uncomfortable plastic chairs, those truths and promises are not the first thing that comes to our minds.
And it takes some work to let go of the anxiety and make a deliberate decision to trust God instead. Yesterday was one of those days for me when I was deciding this ALL the live long day (yes, including at 3:54am). Do you ever have those days? Sometimes, trusting Jesus takes some doing. It’s a process. Some days, it’s a fight. To choose to trust him is not always an easy thing to do. Simple? Yep. Easy? Depends.
I’m glad he’s got so much grace for us.
